Self-Sabotage Behavior

A woman lays in bed. This demonstrates concepts of counseling for self-sabotage in Chicago, IL through online therapy in Chicago, IL.

We all do things that we know we’re going to regret. Some of us procrastinate when we’re under a deadline. Other times, we order fast food when we’re trying to eat more healthfully. Or, we decide to exercise every morning. But, then end up sleeping in. For some, this type of behavior happens on occasion. However, for others, it’s an ongoing pattern. Like always showing up late for appointments or meetings. Or, they have a pattern of breaking off promising relationships when they’re about to get serious.

If this sounds familiar, you could be experiencing self-sabotage behaviors.

These are all examples of how people act in self-defeating ways. It’s called self-sabotage. You’re probably familiar with that term. And, you may have even used it to describe choices you’ve made against your better judgment.
But take a moment to think about this concept. What does it mean to sabotage yourself? And when you do something that’s against your “better judgment,” who is it that has your better judgment? And if it’s yours and it’s better, why would you act against it?

What do self-sabotage behaviors look like?

Self-sabotage looks different for every person. But, for most people, self-sabotage behaviors show up in many areas of their life. It shows up in work, personal relationships, and daily habits. For many of the people we work with, self-sabotage behaviors include:
Consistently showing up late

Why do we engage in self-sabotage behaviors?

A person is writing. This represents concepts of counseling for self-sabotage in Chicago, IL through online therapy in Chicago, IL.

When you think about it, self-sabotage may be very common, but it’s really very strange! But, the idea of self-sabotage is only difficult to understand. If you think about it, as a self-defeating characteristic that’s somehow a part of you. Or, it’s a problem that you have. Like a chronic illness and you just have to learn to live with it.


But what if you think about it instead as a relationship? Granted, it may seem strange. But, it’s an internal relationship between two sides of you! And as often happens in relationships, the two sides are in conflict with each other.

Recognizing the dynamic component of self-sabotage behavior

Then it begins to make more sense: those two sides are fighting over what you should do. One side puts pressure on you to work harder and be perfect. The other side says, “Leave me alone and stop telling me what to do!” That’s a relationship problem.

Here’s the most important point: techniques that work well to resolve a conflict between two people can be used just as effectively to resolve conflict within one person.

Our approach to addressing self-sabotage behaviors

A woman uses a laptop. This demonstrates concepts of counseling for self-sabotage in Chicago, IL through online therapy in Chicago, IL.

At Equipoise Teletherapy, we understand why people often do things that they know they don’t want to do. Our therapists specialize in helping people understand both sides of their internal conflict. And, we help them to resolve it.


Our therapists will work with you to help you overcome many types of unwanted behaviors. A few of these include emotional eating, alcohol and substance misuse, procrastination, and more.

Begin Counseling for Self-Sabotage in Chicago, IL

We know that navigating self-sabotage behaviors can be difficult. But, you’re not alone in dealing with this. Our therapists are here to provide you the support you need to end self-sabotage. So, we’re here to help through online therapy. When you’re ready to begin counseling for self-sabotage, follow these steps:

  1. Contact Equipoise Teletherapy
  2. Meet with one of our experienced therapists
  3. Settle the power dynamic once and for all.

Other Counseling Services at Equipoise Teletherapy

Counseling for self-sabotage behavior isn’t the only service we offer in our Chicago-based teletherapy clinic. Other mental health services include therapy for emotional eating, depression treatment, and anxiety treatment. We also offer counseling for binge eating disorder, addiction, nutrition counseling, and wanted behaviors. Reach out to us and we’re happy to see if our services could be a good fit for you.

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